We interrupt our regular blogging schedule to bring you this very special announcement from the twins.
The Global Chamber of Twins is pleased to congratulate Beyonce and Jay Z on the birth of their twins. We wish Beyonce, Jay Z and big sister Blue Ivy happiness on the arrival of the newest members of their family.
OK, here's what we really want to say now that the obligatory greeting is already out of the way...
To Beyonce and Jay Z:
Twins! Yay, you! Your precious newborns will need to be fed every few hours round the clock. Don't be surprised if by the time you finish feeding and burping the second twin, the first twin will be hungry again. You'll be living an endless cycle of feeding, burping and nappy changing. So yes, welcome to Team No Sleep! But don't worry, you'll learn to survive with only 3 hours of broken sleep per day. Cue the soundtrack of every twin parent's life: Survivor by Destiny's Child.
To the Knowles-Carter Twins:
Hey there, new friends! We're so happy to welcome you to the Global Chamber of Twins!!! Just a few rules and reminders:
- You are encouraged to cry at the same time.
- While you're at it, poop at the same time too!
- Always always sleep during the day and stay up at night.
- Never let your parents sit down while carrying you. We find that crying is the best way to get them to stand up again.
- Lastly, the witching hour is from 6PM to 10PM everyday including weekends. During that time, you are required to be super cranky and inconsolable. Don't let your parents or other adults make you think otherwise. It's your right to participate in the witching hour.
That's it. Just follow the rules and you'll fit in perfectly. Oh and tell us when we can visit for our first playdate! See ya!
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