Four days after giving birth, I was cleared by my OB to go home. Except I didn't want to. You see, my twins were born early at 34 weeks and 2 days. This meant they had to stay in the NICU for at least 3 weeks before we got to bring them home. I wanted to be with them 24/7 but I couldn't.
The first time I saw my twins in their incubators, I was
scared to death. They were so tiny and thin that their ribs were visible. I was
nervous when the NICU nurses were teaching me how to do kangaroo care because I
kept thinking I might hurt their tiny bodies. But later on, it helped build my
confidence as a mom because I was able to provide something that could improve
their well-being. And while I still think it's impossible to fully prepare for
a stay in the NICU, I would like to share a few tips to make your NICU stay
more manageable.
Be active in your twins' care.
In the NICU, your twins will be under the care of trained
medical professionals. But this isn't a reason for you to feel like a clueless
outsider (especially if you and your spouse are first time parents). Talk to your NICU team to
see how you can be more involved in your twins' care. When the twins were in
the hospital, we were encouraged to do kangaroo care which we were told would
help stabilize a their temperature, heart rate and breathing faster
than an incubator. It was healing for the twins and also Joey and me because we
were able to bond with them while improving their health.
Get to know and connect with your twins' medical team.
During your twins' NICU stay, you will be spending a lot of
your time with the doctors, nurses and medical professionals caring for your
twins. They will keep you informed, advocate for your twins' needs and cheer
with you during the tiniest milestones. Remember that your medical team,
especially the NICU nurses work really hard for your babies so try to show
appreciation as well by bringing them snacks or a small token.
Talk to other NICU parents.
Whenever I would go to the pumping room, I felt like there
was an instant, unspoken bond among other NICU moms because we were all going
through the same thing. Joey and I would also talk to other parents who visited
their babies at the same time we did. It's important to have someone to talk to
who understands exactly what you're going through. We offered each other words
of encouragement and cheered on each others' babies whenever one family would
receive the good news that their baby/babies would be going home.
Take care of yourself.
It's difficult to think of yourself when your twins are sick
but in order to be there for them, you have to practice self care. Go home and
try to get a good night's sleep and make sure you eat well everyday.
Document your stay.
Take down notes about your twins' care to help you keep
track of information, results, recommendations and questions. Take plenty of
photos of your twins too. I was not able to take much photos when my twins were
in the NICU because everything was a blur and I wasn't sure if I wanted to
document them looking so tiny and vulnerable. But looking back, I really wish I
was able to take more photos to mark their accomplishments and celebrate how
far they've come.
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